Donnerstag, 31. Mai 2012

# 374

# 373 big city blues

i'm just so fed up with those "personality one night stands".
it's always the same: i go out. i meet someone really interesting. the conversations often are funny, mind-expanding, different, sometimes even intimate. but then - whoosh. the rush goes on.
there's this huge amount and variety of people here and it's so easy to connect with them but it's very easy to lose them as well. out of sight, out of mind.

since i came here i felt like alice in wonderland somehow. it's like a giant sit com or freak show around me sometimes and i find it very amusing. that's what i love about london. it never gets boring, it keeps challenging you by constantly throwing different situations and personalities in your face, one weirder than the other.

but after all those months i got a bit dizzy of the spin.
it's hard to be opened and completely yourself in a city like london. i have the feeling i've put way too much effort and energy in people sometimes. i strip down my soul in front of nearly everyone and most of them still keep their masks on or play mind games. it's tiring...

i definitely need a break soon. you can't imagine how much i look forward to have a few friends over for a week very soon. it will be like a little therapy session for me to have people around that i am so close to, where i can relax and just collapse into their arms.

because it frightens me a bit what have become of me. i feel very tense and insecure and tired.
the other day someone told me he was worried because he and his friends noticed that i'm way too paranoid and very quiet and that doesn't sound like me at all.

Dienstag, 29. Mai 2012

# 372 wish list

lazy summer days and silky pastell clothes

decorating my own flat

the soft feeling of skin against skin against breath against fresh white sheets

lava lamps in every imaginable colour

Freitag, 25. Mai 2012

# 370

i noticed that there are a few questions/comments that i come along quite often whenever i meet new people.
maybe i should start wearing something like an "Alina's FAQ" t-shirt, haha.

1. no, i'm not a ginger/redhead.
2. no, i'm not sad or worried, that's just the way i look sometimes.
3. yes, i do smoke like a chimney.

last weekend i met a guy who forgot my name all the time and kept calling me shaunsy (or chansé? he was constantly talking to me in made up french as well, i have no idea why, haha).
that nickname sounds like a wannabe black ghetto girl from jersey shore or something. i thought it suited me quite well. :D

Donnerstag, 17. Mai 2012

# 364 what a charmer!

when i was chilling on a bench at a park today, apparently not looking my best, a stranger walked up to me, said "you're the prettiest homeless girl i've ever seen. here, take this." and handed me a 5 pound note. i was kind of perplexed and before i could even say anything and clear up that misunderstanding he rushed off with a smile. that was the strangest compliment ever, haha.

Montag, 14. Mai 2012

# 362 show without showing what you know without knowing

# 361 sebastian, you sexy motherfucker

wow london, i literally adore you. it is fascinating how i end up with completely different personalities and circumstances on every night out and find it amazing every single time. it just never gets boring.

 so the playground fest was a complete success. sebastian did a great job. he always smokes like a chimney during his sets and there was this incredibly cool moment at the very beginning of his set when he hadn't lit one yet and some people started throwing cigarettes on the stage for him to smoke. he just picked them up nonchalantly and blew the crowd a small kiss. he's such a badass, haha.
also borgore had quite a cool show with the pole dancers on each side of the stage.

in the smoking area i met a guy with whom i spent hours and hours of talking mostly about music, complaining about skrillex and philosophising whether hip hop is dead or not. after we got kicked out by the security because the place was closing already, our pupils still wide as fuck, we weren't really in the mood to go home. it was such a beautiful, sunny morning so we chilled at a park and got high with some random people instead. perfect way to end an interesting night.

Mittwoch, 9. Mai 2012

# 357 dillon + sebastian

so excited to see DILLON live tomorrow. i think it will be a very intimate relaxed gig.
and i've won a ticket for the playground fest on saturday with dirtyphonics, dillon francis, borgore, etc. AND (the one i'm looking foward to the most) SEBASTIAN!!
i'm such a lucker! but i definitely deserved it after having incredibly painful tonsilitis the last week. it was horrible. i literally couldn't speak, eat, drink or sleep properly for a few days, nearly choked on my own saliva and coughed blood. but now i'm feeling much better. yay for antibiotics!

Montag, 7. Mai 2012

# 356 Grimes

i don't really like the music that much, i have to say. but she's an interesting personality, i like her illustrations and music videos and i absolutely adore the colours in this photo shoot.

Sonntag, 6. Mai 2012

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